Tag Archives: pregnancy

The Birth Story

I was contemplating whether I should even write a birth story.  However, after reading countless stories myself, it only seems fair to share my own.  Don’t read if you care about TMI. 

My due date was December 2, 2011.  I had a ‘feeling’ that I was going to deliver earlier than my due date.  My behavior was just different the week before.  Mood swings about everything – namely, nesting actions.  But, the Monday before my due date (November 28, 2011), I started receiving the expected calls and texts on “how I’m feeling.”  I felt fine.  So, while I really knew that I might be in labor earlier than later, I suppressed that thought and just resigned myself to thinking that I would probably be late, like most first-time moms.

Around 9:30 p.m., while Binks was on his ladder painting the living room and I’m sitting on the couch arranging pictures, I thought I was peeing myself.  I quickly stood up and ran to the bathroom.  I leaked everywhere except the couch (yay!).  I told you TMI.  The liquid that leaked on the white bathroom tile was odorless and slightly pink – aka normal waters breaking.

The contractions started immediately after.  Ten minutes apart for the first 30 minutes.  Then, the contractions seemed like they were coming every 5 minutes.  For the next 30 minutes.  Then, the contractions seemed like they were coming every 1 minute.  This went for another hour.  I was 90% sure that I was measuring the contractions incorrectly.  During this time, I tried every breathing and positioning exercise possible.  I got in the shower, I got on my knees, I got on my back.  I sat on the toilet.  (It felt like I had to you know constantly.)  I had Binks push on my back because I thought it may be back labor.  Nothing and I mean nothing helped!

Note:  Poor Binks.  When my water broke and through my contractions, Binks was running around, putting up the ladder, packing the car with the suitcase, car seat, helping me squeeze my back, entering the contractions into my iPhone, bringing me my pregnancy book (because I thought I would have time to read about labor – I’m not the brightest), etc.  He literally was running around the whole house with 10 different things.  

After I thought the contractions were about 1 minute apart of varying lengths apart – with no pattern, I was sure I was measuring wrong and I was ready to go to the hospital – whether or not I met the time.  The pain by this time was excruciating.  I have no words.  I couldn’t even sit still anywhere.  No breathing exercises helped – I was in so much pain I was jumping off my seat.  After 2 hours, I was crying for an epidural.  Binks made sure to tell me he had none.  At this time, I’m trying my best to weigh the options of going to the hospital to get an epidural and also going to the hospital earlier than I should with more chances of being given interventions.

But, after two hours of this torturous pain, I forced Binks to go to the hospital.

At this point, Binks is also thinking that I’m not going to be admitted.  So, Binks is moving kinda slow.  How slow?  Well, I’m in the car, and he hasn’t even called the doctor yet.  Also, he’s going 65 mph.  We have been late to appointments where he has charged at 90 mph.

Person No. 1 who doesn’t take me seriously.  Ass face.

I cursed him mentally as my talking was reserved for screaming for an epidural and whatever breathing techniques I could pull out of my head.  Including the hee hee hoo which is a bunch of hoo ha.  I’m moaning like my doula class taught and again – nothing.  The car’s vibration is perfect for non-contraction times, but for contractions, it is horrible.

We finally get to the hospital parking lot and Binks FINALLY decides to call the doctor.  The doctor said to come into the hospital and he would be on the way.

Note:  If you don’t know, what this means is that the doctor is going to wait for the nurses to check you before making a determination as to whether he should come.  

Person No. 2.  F*cktard.

Did I mention it was 12:30 a.m. by this time?

We pull up to the valet and I rush myself up the elevator to the Women’s Center.  I didn’t have time for a wheel chair.

The wheel chair was there waiting on the second floor to wheel me into a room.  A contraction hit and I got into the kneeling fetal position on a chair.  The nurse with the wheelchair says, “Come on ma’am.  It’s not that bad.  Let’s go.  We need to go.”

Person No. 3.  B*tch.

On the wheelchair, I started my breathing techniques – by which I mean breathing every which way possible.  The same nurse says, “Why are you breathing like that?  You want to throw up?  That’s what’s going to happen.”

(Insert whatever and as many expletives as possible.)

We finally got to the room.  The labor and delivery nurse handed me a hospital gown.

Note:  I only let a few people see me naked in any way.  Binks, my OB/GYN.  That’s it.  Not my mom.  No one.   But, when you’re hurting this bad, I started taking off my clothes and told the nurse “Excuse me, I have to pee.”  And I just started sitting on the toilet right in front of her.  My non-labor self would have been ashamed.  My labor-self couldn’t have cared less.

Binks had gone downstairs to move the car to a parking spot instead of the middle of the road.

Note:  Binks and I were never together this whole labor time.  All my classes said to lean on the spouse, use the spouse, breathe together, etc.  Other than massaging my back, I wanted Binks to stay as far away as possible.  The last thing I wanted to do was breathe with him or lean on him.  And after the pressure on the back wasn’t helping, I just deemed him as useless. 

As I was seated on the toilet, I noticed I was bleeding.  I got scared.  I pulled the emergency latch.  The nurse hurried in there and asked what the matter was.  I told her of the bleeding and she said, “That latch is for a real emergency.  Don’t pull it again.”


I changed into my hospital gown and got into bed.  I was telling the nurse how badly it hurt.  She said, “Yeah, duh it’s labor.”

Person No. 4.  I could have killed her if I had the strength.  I planned a method to sh*t on her during labor if I could.

She asked if I wanted an epidural.  Luckily I had enough sense to say, “It depends on how much I’m dilated.”

She finally gets down to checking my dilation.

Her eyes widened.  She pushed the nursing call button and said, “Call the doctor to come immediately.  She is 9 cm dilated – pretty much there.  If he doesn’t come in 20 minutes, I’m going to have deliver the baby.”  At that point, Binks and the nurse looked at me – I like to think apologetically.

Suck it sh*t eaters.

I screamed, “No epidural.”  I had to make sure everyone heard.

So, I continued to breathe to the best of my ability.  And after 5 minutes, turns out, I’m just waiting for the doctor and really was ready to deliver.  I kept just breathing away the contractions as best as possible, but it was very apparent that it was time to push.  I could absolutely feel it.

I breathed for 30 minutes just waiting for the doctor.  The doctor finally arrived and I was asking random questions: “Will the pain increase or decrease?” “How many pushes do you estimate I will have to go through?”  It’s times like these that answers to these questions matter.  And, also times like these that you don’t remember anything that people say to you.

And they told me to push.  I pushed.  What a relieving feeling.  And, I should have pushed slower and at my own pace (rather than the doctor’s), but 5 pushes later, he was here.  I teared up.  Not because I was having a mushy moment.  But, I actually thought, “OMG What am I supposed to do with you now?”

And with my obsession with grades, hearing an APGAR score of 9/10, I was very happy.

My labor and delivery went much better than I could have ever asked for.  From water breaking to delivering lasted 4 hours.  And my OB said that my future deliveries may go the same way.  I hope so!

And did I mention how great he is?

Isaiah has been a blessing in every way.  He is a great sleeper, eater and son.  Now, that he is here, I still have the panicked feeling of “What am I supposed to do with you?” but now, after 2 weeks, I know one day at a time is the plan we intend to follow.  Trial and error is really the answer.

And, he seems to be pretty forgiving.



Filed under Life, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

My Favorite {Pregnancy} Things

Baby Binks is now approximately 32 weeks and now seemed like the best time to share with you my favorite pregnancy things up to date.  These aren’t baby-related – but just pregnancy-related (aka – all about me)!

1.  Old Navy

Here’s my math.  Pregnancy lasts 9 months.  And, for at least the first three months, you can fit into everything you had before.  So, I just have to shop for 6 months.  I refuse to spend a lot of money or redo my wardrobe for such a short period of time.  Call me crazy – or call me cheap – I can admit to both.  Enter Old Navy.

a.  Leggings


I have lived in these leggings for longer than I want to remember.  I wear it under almost every dress and T-shirt I own.  I cannot attest to a more comfortable pair of leggings.  Mostly b/c I don’t own any others.  Thank God for maternity leggings.

b.  Jeans

Jeans are always tough.  I usually buy Gap jeans but the price and the fit of these maternity jeans sold me.  I got flare-legged jeans the day that I started noticing my thighs were widening.  I’m not a fashionista, but I think it helps.



After experiencing maternity jeans, I’m not sure how I can ever go back to a button again.  You feel me?

2.  Gap

a.  The Dress

After finding out that my cousin’s rehearsal dinner required American dressy-casual clothes, I had to go look for a dress.  Luckily I found this:


I really am pleased with it.  It’s plain.  It’s black.  It fits and hugs in all the right places.  I’m happy.

b.  The Cardigan

I can’t find the exact one but it’s similar to this, except it’s black (of course).


3.  Burt’s Bees Body Butter

I found this on sale and randomly picked it up as a belly butter rub, and I am extremely glad I did.


I use it every other day on my stomach and some dry areas (elbows, feet, etc.) and it’s perfect.  It’s not greasy and absorbs fairly quickly.  Either that or my skin is so dry it sucks up any moisture it can get.  I hope it’s not that.  It has a great smell and the one tub should last me until the very end!

4.  Babycenter

Yep, there’s an app for it.  And, I have it.  And, it’s free.


I usually rely on my apps to get me through the day.  Facebook, Twitter, Words with Friends, Yelp, INRIX, TV Guide, Pandora, and now…Babycenter’s pregnancy app.  I use it often to find out what the update is on the BittyBinks.  It gives you a check list of things you should be doing at certain times so that you don’t run behind (e.g. Kegels, signing up for birthing classes, finding a pediatrician, etc.).

5.  Flats

I was never a flats wearer before, but when the heels were getting too much, I went and bit the bullet.


Are they most attractive pair of shoes I own?  No.  But, I love them.  I wear them everywhere.  I can’t imagine a better pair to accompany me through the pregnancy.  Side note:  Do you know it’s not safe/good for your feet to be completely flat?  So, I made sure to get some ‘flats’ that had a slight heel to help keep my feet in good condition.

6.  An extra pillow…or two.

I didn’t buy a special maternity pillow.  I refused to.  No other reason than I’d rather spend the money on something else.  Instead, I just added an extra pillow to my sleeping schedule.  I keep it between my legs.  (TWSS!)  Sometimes when I feel the need to be especially cozy, I put an extra (extra) pillow behind my back.  It keeps me in place.  Think of Ethel and Fred preparing for bed in that cheap motel.  No one said I was trying to win the sexy pregnancy award.

7.  Other Bloggers

You cannot imagine how thrilled I am to have at least 5 pregnant bloggers – all around my same due date.  It’s like having a pregnancy club where you are reassured that what you are going through is normal.  And by club, I mean one where I’m in it and no one else knows they are in my club.  🙂

My favorites:  Rhodeygirl Tests, The Daily Garnish, Legally Fit, and The Fitnessista.

At a time where none of my friends and/or family are pregnant or have been pregnant (in the past 2 years), reading about their experiences really has helped tremendously.

8.  My Binks

I will avoid being mushy.  I have been very fortunate – nay – blessed to have a super supportive partner/teammate who puts up with the good, the bad and the hormonal.  I couldn’t have come this far so well without him.  🙂

So, whether it be your partner, friend, family, etc., the support of a loved one goes a long way.

So what’s your favorite thing right now?  Pregnancy or not.


Filed under Favorites, Life, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

Stay Away From Me.

Hello there.

I hope you all are having a great Tuesday and keeping cool in this heat.  In Dallas (or Texas altogether – and in some parts of OK), this is a hard hard battle.

Just a little background on how I’ve been – in case you’re curious.

I have turned into a monster.  Absolutely a monster.

Example 1.  Breakfast with Binks.

I messed up banana pancakes.  Note to future self and you (if you mess up pancakes, which you probably do not):  if you have too much banana mush in the pancake batter, it’s a no go.  

Me:  Ugh.  I can’t get anything right.  (At the top of my lungs.)

Binks:  It’s okay, we can order in breakfast.

Me:  I don’t want to order in breakfast.  I can’t cook ANYTHING.  (While nibbling at seemingly edible parts of pancake, which are really just not.)

Binks:  You are a great cook.  Let’s just go get breakfast.  We can get donuts if you want.  This conversation was pre-this.

Me:  (Just straight bat-sh#t screaming)  I don’t want any f#cking donuts!!  I want my mother f#cking banana pancakes.  I want to be able to cook some normal banana pancakes.

Binks looks on in horror.  After 30 minutes, I stop yelling and we get donuts.  Glazed because my failed attempts at banana pancakes make me undeserving of anything else.

Example 2.  The Towel Rack

Binks:  (While in the shower.)  Can you get me a towel.

Me:  (Walking over to the single towel rack in the bathroom.)  Sure.  (Upon noticing the towel rack.)  Why are there THREE towels on this towel rack?

Binks:  What?

Me:  There are THREE towels on this towel rack.

Binks:  So they can dry.

Me:  So, you think towels dry when they are sandwiched on top of each other?  Is that how towels dry?  Do you understand that any more than TWO towels on this rack will cause the whole thing to come out of the wall?

Binks:  No it wont.

Me:  It won’t?  Oh yeah?  Well look at this!  (Me, attempting to jam all three towels back into the towel rod, which don’t fit and just fall on the floor.)  F#CK!!!!

Binks:  (Smirks a bit.)

Me:  Oh you think this is funny?  You want to do major construction on the house during this time?!

Binks:  It’s not major construction.  If it breaks, I will fix it.

Me:  I don’t want you to fix it.  I don’t want it to be broken at all!  (Yelling from me.  I walk out, slam the door – towels laying on the bathroom floor.)

Binks:  (Looks on in horror from the shower.)

Example 3.  Listen Lady, Don’t Pet My Dog

This week, due to the intense heat, we are taking our dog to a day care so he can play inside instead of suffering outside.  I arrive at the day care center to fill out paperwork and this lady keeps calling Wally over to pet him.  Well, as she is doing this, he keeps going and jerking my hand as I fill out paperwork and have his medical records and my purse in the other. God must have been with her because I didn’t yell at her – although I wanted to.  Rather, I said (in not so much of an inside voice), “Wally SIT DOWN.”  The lady never called him again.

I am convinced that the pregnancy hormones are just further irritated by this heat.

Or I need an exorcism.


Filed under Life, Pregnancy


Yesterday, when Lindsay asked what I was craving, I could have written an essay about it.  Why not a blog post?

While I never got sick during the first trimester, I had serious cravings and aversions.  Prior to finding out I was pregnant, Binks (and even I) thought I was just being weird.  I did not want any bacon or be near it – pork in general.  Meat was just hard for me altogether.  I could not stand the smell or sight of mushrooms.

What I lacked in aversions, I sure made up and keep making up for in cravings.


I cannot get enough.

Yep that is mustard and pickles.  Together.  It’s a fabulous thing.  Try it.  I eat a pickle everyday.  This is my pickle of choice these days.

Turns out pickles actually quell sugar cravings, which makes sense because I do have a huge sweet tooth.  Body – 1; me – 0.

Spicy Food

I ate spicy food before, but this is another issue altogether.  I can drink this stuff:

I cook a lot with this:

I don’t know why I crave spicy food.  I don’t know any reason behind this except to know that spicy food does rev up your metabolism a bit.


I could eat this morning, noon and night.  I limit it to just breakfast because pickles don’t go with cereal.

I love to drown my cereal in the almond milk – which is something I did previously anyway.

I love granolas/cereals – it makes me feel like I’m eating a dessert and I swear to the heavens that the vanilla macaroon granola I picked up at Sprouts tastes like a cookie.  So, I’ve been eating cookie cereal.  My favorite these days is Cascadian Farm’s Dark Chocolate Almond Granola.  Again, tastes like cookies!

And, it keeps me full.

Cold Crazy Breakfast Bowls

To the exclusion of cereal, I’m in love with smoothie bowls and yogurt bowls.

This purple goodness is a mixture of prepared banana oatmeal, blueberries and almond milk.  Topped with Justin’s Maple Almond Butter.

That my friends is Noosa Blueberry.  If you haven’t tried Noosa yet, you need to.  I don’t know what they do to make it delicious, but it is.


Other cravings include:

Justin’s nut butters.  If you notice my pictures above you seethat I use it often.  I wish it were a mental thing but it’s not.  I have other Natural Peanut butters and nut butters but something about this one sets it above the rest.  So much so that I’m contemplating buying a $10 jar.

Bananas.  Maybe I’m needing potassium but I find every which way to sneak in bananas – usually at breakfast.

Coconut.  As seen above, I love the stuff.  And let me tell you coconut sprinkled on banana slices – O.M.G. dessert for sure!

Actually coconut has been not just a dietary supplement but an all-over body routine lately.  I use it on my face as a mask and I notice a huge difference.  I’m working on different anti-inflammatory (natural) masks and once I get together a palatable ‘recipe’, I’ll share!  I also use coconut oil on my stomach for stretch marks.

Being from Kerala, coconut is used often and widely.  Not for nothing.  Coconut is a power house of nutrition and other health benefits.

Are all my cravings healthy?  No.  I frequently crave and sometimes eat (sometimes because these are not every day foods):

(1) potato chips – Kettle Sea Salt & Vinegar.  ‘Nuff said.

(2) french fries – Always and forever

(3) fried chicken – This will never go away

(4) pizza – With garlic powder, red pepper flakes and Sriracha sauce for toppings.  I dare you to try it.

(5) Magnums – Shall we go there again?

Pregnant or not – tell me what you crave – a healthy craving and a not-so-healthy craving.


Filed under Breakfast, Pregnancy, Uncategorized


I accept I am with child.

I accept that the baby is growing.

I accept that my body will change.

I accept that the baby is mine.

There are certain things that I have not come to terms with.

1. I have a beer belly.  So most people would expect this yes, but I have not. I keep looking at myself in the mirror and I notice that things are expanding in the tummy region. Funny as it is, years of trying to get in shape immediately causes me to think, “Geez, you need to eat better and exercise more.” It’s a losing battle for the next 5 months. It takes Binks to remind me that there is a wee one in there. And by remind I mean everyday two-three times a day.

2. I need new clothes.  This relates to #1. As a lot of my clothes are already loose, I keep thinking, I’ll wait until I can’t fit into my clothes to buy new ones. Let me tell you why this is dumb. Just because I can fit into my jeans/pants/etc. standing up, doesn’t mean that it feels so wonderful sitting down. So, for the past week, I have been unbuttoning my pants while seated. (Insert judgment here.) Tis not a pretty sight my friends. Thank goodness I have my own office and I own my own firm and I work with my husband.

3. I have gas.  I know TMI. I apologize. This speaks for itself. I keep saying – Oh, I must have eaten something bad. Binks just rolls his eyes – from halfway across the room at that point.

4. My boobs are huge.  And don’t get me started on the n-word. Again, TMI – I apologize. But we’re all friends right? Pre-pregnancy, I had some knockers, let me tell ya! Let’s say I understand Jessica Simpson’s pain. I didn’t like it then, and I certainly don’t like it now. And have they grown. The first three months were a disaster because they would be large and extremely sore. Luckily the latter part has subsided. And again, as for the n-word, it’s like watching a tattoo spread in shapes and change colors that you don’t even want to describe. Again, I apologize.

5. I get tired.  Like early. I’m usually an 11 p.m. sleeper but lately, it’s been 9:30 p.m. at the latest. It’s a great thing.

6. Things hurt.  Aside from #4 issues, my back and my joints hurt. Things are popping. Not in a pop-and-lock way but an “I’m-falling-apart” way. Silver lining: I get back massages almost every day.

7. The scale is increasing.  Oh Lord, don’t even get me started on this mess. I know it’s baby weight, but because I, like others, have been taught to care what the scale says, the number is climbing and I’m panicking. I’ve learned to calm down as my clothes fit almost everywhere except my boobs (see #4) and belly (see #1), which only really leaves my arms and calves. Oy ve.

8. I have to tell people I’m pregnant.  It’s a weird thing. Let me tell you. When you get engaged, you can show someone a ring or someone will notice. Here, there is no proper way to ease into it, and you don’t really want to wait until someone will notice. So, I’ve been saying ridiculous things like this: “I’m with child.” “Turns out I’m knocked up.” Thank God for good and understanding friends!

9. Crazy Dreams.  My dreams are wicked. Insane. Crazy. I dreamt that someone was trying to steal my baby a la Rosemary’s Baby, and I was planning an escape route. That’s a tame one. It is nuts.

10. I will be a good mom.  I’m a mess. A hot mess. I forget my cell phone in the car. I forget whether I closed the garage completely, thus having to turn around just to be sure. Did I mention I’m also OCD? I leave dishes in the sink sometimes because I’m too tired to wash them that night. I don’t cook dinner every night. I mean compared to my mom, I’m a disaster. My mom had a fresh-cooked meal for us every night. She never forgot anything for her, my dad or for us kids. She always washed the dishes no matter how tired she was. I fear that I might be too selfish.

All in all, this is probably one of the best experiences of my life. I have not felt so much fear, joy, anxiety, and excitement all at one time.

And, most of all, I’m really glad that I have you to share it with. Thank you for listening!  🙂


Filed under Life, Pregnancy

Behind the Beginning Scenes

So, if you have been reading, you all probably know that I have discovered that I am carrying around a little lemon, which has now turned into an apple.


Binks and I are super excited about new development.  I have been really excited because I finally got to share it with you.  You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you as soon as I found out – at 6 weeks.  However, I really did want to wait until the time was just right and I felt a bit secure in the pregnancy to reveal this wonderful news.

What did we do when we first found out?  We went to grab breakfast.  What did I get?  Lunch.

Then, as it turns out, you’re not supposed to have cold lunch meat.  Crap.

We told our parents at 10 weeks – on Mother’s Day weekend – right before San Francisco.  We did it for two reasons – one obvious, one delirious.

Obvious:  Mother’s Day turns out to be Binks’ dad’s birthday so it was perfect.  We got Happy Birthday Grandpa (we got one for my dad too as we didn’t want him to be card-less) and Happy Mother’s Day, Grandma for both moms.  Needless to say everyone took the cards and just put it on the table.  This is what happens when you give things to people in the middle of eating.  Second, my mom thought I was joking like usual and calling her old.  Third, it took my dad to thoroughly read his card and my sister to squeal reading over my MIL’s card.  Finally!  And, then I started crying – like a damn fool.  🙂

Delirious:  This would be the first grandchild on both sides.  Aka – the parents go nuts.  I can’t handle that.  Hence, two days after we told them, we hitched a ride to California and didn’t have to face the news until we came back!   By then, the family has already self-implode with the excitement.  🙂  I came back to calmness and logical questions.

Can I tell you?  No morning sickness.  You heard right.  Just a bout of nausea at first, which was what prompted me to initially take the pregnancy test.

It seems like I was meant to have this baby.  I mean, I don’t have these wide birthing hips for nothing.


Filed under Health, Life, Pregnancy