Hi friends.  I know it’s been a while.  As you can imagine, life here has been a bit turned upside down.  But, our family has been strong and is getting through the loss of my dad one day at a time – there really is no other way.  It’s probably the saddest and strangest thing I have ever been through.  Saddest for obvious reasons.  Strange because you know that one day it will happen, but you never are ever ready for when it does.  And especially when it’s sudden.  You guys have been such a wonderful support and just getting messages and posts with nice words have really helped more than you could ever know – so thank you again!

In my eulogy I talked about how my dad influenced my life and I mentioned how he got me interested in critical thinking, which eventually led me down the attorney career path and the like.  A week ago (I cannot believe it’s going to be three weeks on Friday), I started thinking about one of the biggest influences he had in my life – food.

My dad was in the hospitality and catering business for a long time (pretty much all his life).  When we were little, he would cook for us on occasion.  But when he did – it was marvelous.  I remember him putting so much attention and love into what he cooked and maintained a creativity about it all.  It really did inspire me to be the foodie I am today.  In fact, thinking back far, he would talk to me about food all the time – and what he liked to cook and eat.  Thinking back not so far, the last interaction we had was over family dinner and we were discussing food again – our favorites, what we hated, what we loved to cook, etc.  Don’t get me wrong – my mom is a fabulous cook but it’s my dad that had a real passion for it.

This has really been inspiring me to get back into the kitchen and start creating again, and sharing (with you) again.  

What’s also strange is how life moves on.  It’s as if my world was turned upside down but people kept going.  I’m scared that I’m going to forget what he sounds like, laughs like, looks like, what his hands feel like, smells like, etc.  And I’m sad he won’t ever get to meet Baby Binks.  And, I don’t have any nice words of wisdom because we’re all just figuring it out right now.  All I can say is – one day at a time.


Filed under Life

11 responses to “Hello.

  1. One day at a time.
    Beautifully said.

    Thinking of you.


  2. I can’t even imagine especially since it was sudden. I am sorry for your loss.

  3. i’ve been thinking of you, friend! glad you’re hanging in there. he’ll always be there in your mind and how awesome that he can be such a constant source of inspiration.

  4. This brought tears to my eyes, you wrote it beautifully, Susan. *hugs*

  5. I’m glad you have such fond memories of your dad to remember him by…he sounds like an amazing father. I’m sad too that he won’t get to meet the baby but I’m glad you will have the baby in your life soon.

    Thinking of you my friend!

  6. Pingback: And the {Real} Cheese Stands Alone | OliePants

  7. Thanks for sharing what it’s been like lately. Our memories of specific characteristics or physical features may fade over time, but the impact that those we love had will not simply disappear. I hope that your heart and spirit will hurt a little less as you work through what this new normal looks like.

  8. Oh, Susan! I’ve been thinking about you. You know Billy lost his father almost 2 years ago very suddenly, and you have it right that it’s a one day at a time healing process. I love that you’ve been inspired to cook more in his memory! Billy has the same connection with his dad, and it’s a beautiful thing to watch/talk about. Lots of love to you!

  9. Amy

    I just saw this..I’m so sorry to hear about your father..you sound incredibly strong though which is so admirable. I’m thinking about you and your family!!

  10. Your father sounds like he was a wonderful man. Getting back in the kitchen sounds like a great way to honor his memory 🙂

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